Resilience Tips: The Invisibility of Great Self-Care
By Sandy Davis, a.k.a. "The Resilience Guy"
A Mostly Invisible Endeavor
As I begin my ninth consecutive year of continuously doing my own set of simple daily self-care practices every day and faithfully logging my daily results, I find myself reflecting on how this personal pursuit of mine is largely an invisible one.
I now know “in my bones” the degree to which self-care is a private matter. The things I do every day to sustain my own vitality and resilience are unseen by the rest of the world—save perhaps for my practice of regular aerobic exercise.
When I am out cycling on local roads, it’s hard to be invisible. It would also be unsafe. In fact, when I’m riding, for safety’s sake I do everything I can to be easily seen. That includes wearing a bright yellow jacket, and sporting both a flashing white strobe light on the front of my bike, and a flashing red strobe light on the back.
Thanks to my high visibility, the folks who drive along the Bristol Road in the morning have become used to seeing me out riding my bicycle every other morning, pretty much year ’round. Some of them have taken to waving to me cheerfully, and others toot their horn enthusiastically as they whiz by.
A Private and Joyful Affair
In contrast with my highly visible exercise routine, I have always done my daily centering practices and my daily creative practice “behind closed doors.”
Currently I spend time every morning centering myself by first doing a 20-minute meditation and then doing an additional 10 minutes of tai chi. Later in the day, usually in the evening, I spend time doing my daily creative practice. For many decades, the focus of this practice has been developing my musical skills. I routinely practice playing music on one of my instruments at least once every single day.
After sticking with these simple daily self-care practices for so many years, they now “belong” to me. No one else needs to know about them or bear witness to my doing them. I stick with them because I experience an intrinsic joy in doing them, and because they provide me with countless benefits.
The Rich Rewards of Great Self-Care
I have come to hold my daily self-care practices as my ever-present teachers. They are an unending source of new insights. They are also reliable generators of increased vitality, balance, strength, and creativity. I have found that the primary benefits of intentionally sustaining these daily practices are (1) a marked increase in my own resilience and (2) a satisfying deepening of my own happiness.
Self-Care is a Solo-Care
I don’t do my daily self-care practices for anyone else’s direct benefit, nor do I expect anyone else to do these practices for my direct benefit. (This can’t be done.) I simply do each of them by myself and for myself. It’s a solo endeavor.
I stick with these simple daily self-care practices because they make me feel more alive and more connected to myself and to the world around me than I could possibly feel without doing them. When I feel this way, others benefit indirectly. Because I take care to tap into the fullness of my own vitality both intentionally and continuously, everyone else gets to interact with my “best self.”
Letting You In on My Secrets
Were it not for my desire to share with you the benefits of systematically taking great care of your own mind, body, and spirit, very few of you would know anything about how and why I choose invest in my own well-being every single day.
It took me decades of experimentation to find the minimal set of daily habits and intentional practices that would maximize my own vitality and resilience. It was only after I had finally “cracked the code” that I found myself wanting to share what I had discovered.
Because I’d like you to know how to make similar small but “high-yield” investments in your own daily self-care, I decided some time ago to “go public.” That’s why I write these newsletters, and that’s how you came to read these very words.
Eschewing My Own Introversion
Because I am a life-long introvert, “going public” has been a stretch for me. My natural inclination is remain out of sight, to go my own way, and to do so with little or no fanfare. Thus, reaching out to all of you goes against my grain.
What I have discovered about personal resilience, however, is so powerful, so available, and so sorely needed that, in spite of my preference to be private, I have found myself willing to reach out and share my valuable discoveries with you.
On the basis of my successfully teaching many others how to use my straightforward methodology for great self-care, I have reason to believe strongly that you will be pleased by the results you can create for yourself when you, too, set up well-chosen daily self-care structures for yourself and then adhere to them faithfully over time.
Call to Action
If you don’t already have a set of simple daily self-care practices “up and running,” I encourage you to give yourself permission to “briefly disappear” several times a day in order to pursue whichever self-care practices appeal to you the most.
I use the word “disappear” because your own self-care activities, like mine, will most likely be largely invisible to others. They are a private matter. (Even though others may witness you doing them, your intent in doing them will most likely remain invisible.)
Remember that you have both a right and a responsibility to take care of your mind, your body, and your spirit every single day. Unless you do, you will find it difficult to thrive. And when you do, you will find it difficult not to thrive.
Remember, too, that self-care is, by definition, entirely your own responsibility. You alone can figure out what you need most, and then it’s up to you and you alone to find ways to fulfill your precise needs.
So feel free to walk away from your computer screen and “disappear” right now, at least long enough to close your eyes, to take some long, slow centering breaths, and to be still and completely present in the fullness and peace of this present moment.
I now have compelling evidence that I have been systematically “disappearing” this way for eight full years. It is a restorative thing to do. It works. And I recommend this “way of resilience” to you without hesitation and without reservation.
Relevant Quotations:
“Because you are what you practice, practice what you want to be.” – Sandy Davis
“The secret to paying yourself first every day is that you have to make paying yourself first an unyielding priority. Otherwise, the self-nourishing daily practices you want to do most will almost always drop to the bottom of your to-do list, and you’ll continue to pay yourself last.” – Sandy Davis
“Readiness trumps reticence.” – Sandy Davis
For More Information:
If you would like more information on how to take on and sustain a proven combination of self-care habits and simple daily practices that can keep you young, vital, and resilient, check out http://www.resiliencemanual.com.
Copyright © 2010 Alexander M. (Sandy) Davis. To find out more about Sandy Davis and the resilience-related guides and services he offers, visit www.ResilienceWorks.com. To subscribe to his free monthly e-newsletter, send an e-mail to Subscribe@ResilienceWorks.com. FYI, he’s “The Resilience Guy.”